Posts by Billy the Ex-Bethelite

WT has constantly told pioneers, etc., that if they "reach out", Jehovah will bless their efforts. And they also need to be specific in their prayers.

There's been plenty of stories like "Andre the pioneer needed new tires but couldn't afford them and was praying for help, but afraid he'd have to quit pioneering. After the meeting he found an envelope with enough money taped to his steering wheel. Hooray, Jehovah provided."

Of course, Jehovah didn't really provide it. Somebody found out how much he needed and gave it to him.

So I'm not really surprised that JWs would seek funding like this. Instead of just asking for tires, they specifically ask for thousands of dollars. And you don't have to tape money inside their car, the Internet is their steering wheel just waiting for Jehovah-money to magically appear.

56

A fresh start

by FormerlySandL in

after the worst introduction i could ever make on the forum i would like to reintroduce myself and make a fresh start on the forum and hopefully over time i will be able to redeem myself.

i have changed my user name which was over dramatic and ridiculous in the cold light of day but for transparency and to show i am not trying to hide anything i have adapted the original name and it now has a more positive feel.

after reading a lot of posts on this forum i am feeling more optimistic about my future.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

3 pioneer schools? thats quite some going, I thought most pioneers only do one.

Not sure of the latest, but you're invited again after you pioneer long enough. And I think if you learn another language.

56

A fresh start

by FormerlySandL in

after the worst introduction i could ever make on the forum i would like to reintroduce myself and make a fresh start on the forum and hopefully over time i will be able to redeem myself.

i have changed my user name which was over dramatic and ridiculous in the cold light of day but for transparency and to show i am not trying to hide anything i have adapted the original name and it now has a more positive feel.

after reading a lot of posts on this forum i am feeling more optimistic about my future.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

You couldn't take the wt Cuz freedomof speech? What does that mean?

Whenever an elder has a flaw in his personal life, the other elders can decide he doesn't have "freedom of speech", or some similar phrase. He can be removed from some of his responsibilities, or from his position as an elder.

For example, an elder's kid gets in some kid of trouble. Then the other elders will meet to decide how serious it is, how well known it is, and basically it often comes down to whether they like the guy. They may remove him from some of his responsibilities, completely remove him as an elder, or they may do absolutely nothing.

56

A fresh start

by FormerlySandL in

after the worst introduction i could ever make on the forum i would like to reintroduce myself and make a fresh start on the forum and hopefully over time i will be able to redeem myself.

i have changed my user name which was over dramatic and ridiculous in the cold light of day but for transparency and to show i am not trying to hide anything i have adapted the original name and it now has a more positive feel.

after reading a lot of posts on this forum i am feeling more optimistic about my future.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome back!

I received your PM and sent you another before I saw your thread here.

I am now trying to backtrack and play the depression card to buy me some time and limit the damage I've done in previous meetings with them.

The depression card has worked very well for me. Being a JW is very depressing, let it all out to them. If the "brothers" want to talk to you, just keep telling them how sad you are about your JW life. How your entire identity and reason for believing has been stripped away by them removing you as an elder. After your years of slaving, they kicked you to the curb when you realized you were engaged to the wrong woman. They'll try to "give encouragement" and you can pretend to be a little encouraged. But then return to that same "depression", repeat, and repeat. So often it seems like most elders will avoid those who seem chronically depressed.

I think it was actually therapeutic for me to attend the meetings and really show how really depressing the whole thing was... after decades of pasting on a smile at the meeting when I was tired, annoyed, and depressed. Even though I'm not depressed now, I still have that card ready to play. If anyone asks, "Don't you want to return?", I can simply respond, "Do you want me to kill myself like Xxxx did?"

And any doubts that you've expressed, I'd suggest rewrapping them in the "a return visit told me about the JW pedophile scandal, WT false prophecies, etc." type of thing.

Cheers!

161

I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please

by scared and lonely in

i am sorry that on my first post i am asking for help and advice but i am at my wits end.

i have been brought up a witness all my life and it is all i know.

i am an ex-elder and pioneer and i don't know anybody outside of the congregation.. i have been unhappy for so long and wanted to leave.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

I am one of a handful of SHEEPDOGS on this board who feel a duty to protect you unsuspecting SHEEPLE from WOLVES.

Great. Now there are self-appointed elders on this forum. What next? Ex-jw judicial committees?

161

I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please

by scared and lonely in

i am sorry that on my first post i am asking for help and advice but i am at my wits end.

i have been brought up a witness all my life and it is all i know.

i am an ex-elder and pioneer and i don't know anybody outside of the congregation.. i have been unhappy for so long and wanted to leave.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome S&L!

I was a bethelite and elder when I began waking up, which for me was a process that dragged on for years with the help of prescription anti-depressants and the mind-numbing noise from WT Corp. I started coming here and learning TTATT while I was still conducting the WT study.

I didn't know what the hell I was going to do either.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/159978/why-im-loser-dont-know-what-do-fix

Between clearing my head and finding a new focus, I decided on a new direction. Sometimes I was lucky and things fell into place, sometimes I used a hammer to get them to "luckily" fall into place. In an odd turn of circumstances, I was removed as an elder, and I went back to school for a degree. There were plenty of times that I felt scared and lonely... but those are just FEELINGS. I found that the only reason I really felt scared was because of my financial situation, which I then focused on. There were some rough times, but I made it through much stronger and more confident. I 'felt lonely' because I was no longer surrounded by the "friends". Frankly, I found that I was happier alone than with them.

Since the time of my "thread of self-loathing", I completed my degree and got myself a career. I make more money in three hours now than I received in most month's bethel reimbursement. (In just two hours on a day like today when I rack up overtime.)

In case you're interested, here's some of the suggestions I've posted for faders:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/253592/exjw-psychology-101-keeping-your-cool-while-fading

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/254990/exjw-psychology-102-how-ask-question-when-questions-arent-allowed

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/255058/exjw-psychology-103-lets-reconsider-confidentiality

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/256052/exjw-psychology-104-one-way-play-depression-card

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/270595/exjw-psychology-105-you-ready-big

33

Question about visiting bethel ... akward moment at the end

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

since there a couple of ex-bethelites here, and a lot of people from the greater ny area who have probably visited the bethel in brooklyn and patterson many times, maybe they can shed some light into this curious question we (my wife and me) have for awhile.. so a couple of years ago, we happaned to be in the states and also went to visit the bethels in brooklyn and patterson.

we had the full package, what i mean is, not only we took the tour, but we also had someone to invite us for lunch.

while we wanted to enjoy our stay there, there was always a weird feeling being there.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

I remember getting a yearbook in the mail before they were released from a Bethelite friend. I now think that was a allowed and the postage paid for by the org in an effort to get the Bethelite some extra funds via a green handshake. I'm sure this would be denied by the Bethelite. Anyone who served in Bethel care to comment on this?

That's been a long time ago now.

No, the org didn't pay for the postage. We had to pay for it out of our reimbursement. Why would any of us have denied it? We were all broke and were hoping that this would get us a little extra spending money.

We each made our mailing list of friends and family and these books and postage were charged to our bethel account for every one of them. The next year they would send us a copy of the previous year's list and we would add, edit, or remove recipients. This special treatment was also done with some of the videos, as I recall. Some bethelites had huge lists, but I never did more than a dozen.

Eventually, the yearbooks were printed so late that the congregations were receiving the boxes about the same time these "special" ones arrived in the mail. So that long tradition and potential source of income just disappeared.

And just to remind everyone how broke we bethelites were, during much of the time I was in Bethel, my monthly reimbursement was LESS than what I now earn in 3 hours work. And today I was in a seminar, so I made more money sitting on my ass today than what I got for slaving for two months at Watchtower.

33

Question about visiting bethel ... akward moment at the end

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

since there a couple of ex-bethelites here, and a lot of people from the greater ny area who have probably visited the bethel in brooklyn and patterson many times, maybe they can shed some light into this curious question we (my wife and me) have for awhile.. so a couple of years ago, we happaned to be in the states and also went to visit the bethels in brooklyn and patterson.

we had the full package, what i mean is, not only we took the tour, but we also had someone to invite us for lunch.

while we wanted to enjoy our stay there, there was always a weird feeling being there.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

As bethelites, we had a set number of "guest privileges" each year. The earlier in the year, the more valuable they were to us. By December, it wasn't much of a big deal to invite anybody and use them up before they expire.

Bethelites may be cheap, but so are most publishers, too. I learned early on to never do anything with the expectation of a green handshake. However, I never was on the regular tour guide list, so I didn't deal much with random rank & file visitors. I'll just say that I gave a lot of special tours for the "connected". Of those, I got very few green handshakes, so for me it was a pleasant surprise when it did happen. And it was usually from those I'd least expect.

so at the end when they took us outside, there was an akward moment of silence, after we all hugged and said bye. Like the other party was waiting for something. Maybe an envelope of cash, or some other present? We only thought about it, because it happened on both occasions.

I can't say whether or not they were expecting cash, but from a bethelite's perspective, your leaving meant it was time for them to go back to work, maybe they didn't want to go back.

We had the full package, what I mean is, not only we took the tour, but we also had someone to invite us for lunch.

Sorry but that needs some clarification. "The full package" would have been for them to use their connections to get you a tour beyond the doors you walked past. And the regular tours are boring since you only look at signs hanging in the hallways. At Patterson, did you get a tour inside art, audio/video, legal, or service departments? At Brooklyn, did you get a tour of Writing, Teaching, or whatever else is left down there? Did they take you up to the clocktower at Patterson (or is that on the tour now anyway) or up to any of the roofs in Brooklyn? Did you get invited to stay over in their room (if they had enough seniority and room size for guests), or did they use their guestroom privilege for you? Did they introduce you to any members of the GB? Did you get invited to Family Night? My friends/family could answer "yes" to all of those. So getting invited for lunch isn't really that big of a deal.